Yes, it does. I’ve been struggling for about a month now. I’ve been here before. Many times before. I’ll push myself for about four months solid—mentally, physically and emotionally—and then I break down. The weird thing (or stupid thing) is you’d think I’d be aware that it will eventually come to this.
I’ve been working hard for the past four months on my latest venture (with three other partners). Through these crucial development months I literally become so consumed that I stop taking care of myself. I eat less, sleep less and work late into the nights and weekends. I get up and spend a full day at work doing essentially the same thing I do at home, and that starts to take its toll mentally.
Why do I do it? I have this fear that one day I won’t have the creativity or energy I have now. My creative well will dry up. My mind won’t be sharp enough to accomplish the things I want to. I feel pressured (by myself, but usually I have cohorts that depend on me) to take advantage of these creative bursts squeezing every last ounce of juice from my brain, knowing I’ll eventually fall into this pit.
But even though I know I’ll burn-out and I know what it feels like, each time it catches me by surprise. I find it amazing how a work-a-holic like myself can become an utter useless waste of space overnight. The days pass without any progress. I watch more TV in a three-day span than I normally do in three months. I feel horrible. Depressed. Sad. I start to remember exactly how much I hate my situation — my home, my job, my trainwreck of a life. It lasts for weeks.
And then, like a light switch, I’m back from the dead and ready to go again. I’m almost there.
